How do you want to start your new year, gratitude, or resolution?

I am certain your first intention for 2021 is to set some new year’s resolutions and to say, ‘Thank God 2020 is over!’ It certainly has been a year we won’t soon forget.

Ten months ago, the world slowed down, and plans got cancelled. In a matter of days, our lives were put on hold as we went through new challenging times. From being forced to stay home, on furlough or redundancy, to being affected by illness or loss of family members and friends, we have found ourselves many times at breaking points. All those challenges took a lot out of us and made us revise our priorities, forcing us to strike a balance in our lives.

While some people were terrified and emptied the supermarket shelves, I delved into different topics with good intention of avoiding the pandemonium. As it turned out, the pandemic not only helped me to turn my attention to those things I once loved but abandoned due to lack of time and self-doubt, but I also reconnected with the person who was hidden inside me for many years.

New Beginning

At the start of this new year, I have decided to reflect on the months gone by – the challenges I faced and what I have achieved. I have been counselling others for more than 10 years … those who struggle with addiction, depression, abusive relationships, lack of self-love and suicidal thoughts. But until last year, I never applied that advice to myself. I felt I had more to give to others, rather than focusing on myself. I think that is what we call being selfless.

Many times, I have been called ‘super woman’, but only a few people saw how fragile I was inside. I would not have overcome the onslaught of the pandemic, had I not leaned on my family, a few friends, and the selfless online teachers. The techniques I learned, whether it being mindfulness, writing, art, and design, helped strengthen my mental resilience. I overcame anxiety and avoided sinking into depression.

Practising daily meditation and connecting with newfound online friends, helped me to feel more grounded and combat stress. I learned to reassess my health and adopted a new eating regime – no more emotional eating. I designed a new diet following the same approach as Keto and made my own goat’s milk kefir which helped alleviate my IBS symptoms and gave me a healthier skin tone. The difference is astounding. I feel so much better – I am no longer bloated and have a spring in my step.

Onward and Upward

In 2021, I choose happiness and good health. I look for light and hope to rise above all challenges. I think about all the people, present and deceased, who have helped me through the challenging times. Those who have enabled me to keep going when I would otherwise have been at the mercy of negative thoughts. I feel grateful for all those who gave their time free of charge. They have gratified many of us with freebies and we owe them a debt of gratitude.

January is a perfect time for me to look ahead and reflect on what I want. Before, I would regularly binge-read fiction books or watch movie marathons to chill. Now, I have learned the ability to be still. By being quiet, I can easily attain that level of satisfaction. I start my day with 15-30 minutes of meditation – that could be prayer, deep-breathing, or just complete silence. There is no time to feel guilty in giving myself some self-love.

I have learned that there is no need to look back and regret. Change comes from accepting who I am and what I am grateful for. I focus on ‘what I want’ and not on ‘what I don’t want’. I choose to be happy. I can reach out to anyone I have not spoken to, for ages and let them know how much they mean to me.

As I share with you these beautiful words from Pope Francis, I wish you all a healthy and peaceful year.

“Rivers do not drink their own water; trees do not eat their own fruit; the sun does not shine on itself and flowers do not spread their fragrance for themselves. Living for others is a rule of nature. We are all born to help each other. No matter how difficult it is, life is good when you are happy; but much better when others are happy because of you. Let us all remember then that every changing colour of a leaf is beautiful, and every changing situation of life is meaningful, both need very clear vision. So, do not grumble or complain, let us instead remember that Pain is a sign that we are alive. Problems are a sign that we are strong, and Prayer is a sign we are not alone!! If we can acknowledge these truths and condition our hearts and minds, our lives will be more meaningful, different, and worthwhile!!”

You Can’t Teach an Old Dog New Tricks

‘You can’t teach an old dog new tricks’ is an old saying in the English language dating from 1534, meaning people who have long been used to doing things in a particular way will not abandon their habits. It was believed that it was quite difficult for old aged people to learn something new. Challenging, yes, as old habits die hard, but not impossible.

Debunked

In 2016, Professor Stanley Coren, best known to the public for his popular books on dogs and on general psychological issues, wrote an article explaining how old dogs may learn more slowly but they will remember. It does not happen overnight. It takes up to 4 weeks for an old dog to learn new things, so patience cannot be over stressed. There’s hope for me then, although, it does not matter as I am forever 30!

Switch Your Mindset and Embrace Change

The thing I have known about myself is that I am resilient. I can adapt well when faced with stress. But with this sudden lockdown, I could have gravitated towards depression. Therefore, I knew I had to teach myself a different attitude and new routine to make changes. I had to take charge of my actions because it only takes a few seconds to indulge in self-destructive habits but it takes a lot of work to develop that drive and discipline in you.

“It always seems impossible until it’s done” – Nelson Mandela

I used to find a thousand reasons why I could not do this or that. So, rather than being a couch potato and cramming as much Netflix as possible, I had to change in a positive way. I learned a new approach – my target was to set simple achievable goals because, I believe, part of the reason we procrastinate is because the task at hand seems too daunting.

Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life

I have been longing to finish a few projects that I started years ago but abandoned halfway through. Maybe I was not passionate enough or maybe I did not believe in myself … but the truth is I did not give myself the chance to explore my talent and develop my skills. Now with the world on hold, I did not have any pressure – I could deepen my own discovery by pursuing my passion.

Action!

I decided to pick a new subject that would keep me busy as well as teach me something that will stay with me long after the world has resumed its normality. With the variety of online courses made available for everyone to access, I was spoilt for choice. It was all the more tempting as they were all free.

“The moment you change your perception is the moment you rewrite the chemistry of your body” – Dr Bruce H. Lipton

I joined a few groups: art & design, meditation, baking, creative writing and exercise. The couch to 5 km challenge was too much for me. I only managed running up and down the stairs. I gave Tik Tok a go. What a better way to learn the moves without making a fool of myself in front of others. I was wrong. I got bruises from the amount of times that I fell over trying to replicate the Shuffle dance and could not even manage the Running Man. I resigned myself to lip-syncing.

“Challenge yourself, it’s the only path which leads to growth” – Morgan Freeman

What I Learned

Overall, the experience has been nothing but positive and somewhat addictive (I’m almost a pro at breadmaking). Some courses are fun, others quite hard work but mostly enjoyable. Through learning I have rediscovered my self worth and hence can pursue my passion. Old dogs may learn slowly but they remember. I’m like a dog with a bone and I won’t let go.